Here is just a quick one, as I am mulling so much over in my head- and am probably thinking too deeply for my own good still. ;) But as it is, I am wondering: what is the difference between spirituality and religion?
The founding thoughts of Auroville come from Sri Aurobindo, a spiritual master, and "The Mother". You find large photos of them everywhere in Auroville, and yesterday we visited the Sri Aurobindo ashram in the city of Pondicherry, where people come to meditate on their graves. There are numerous bookstores filled with their spiritual teachings in all different languages.
And I just keep thinking: how did one woman- The Mother- come to have such a dream fulfilled? What level of spirituality must she have been on to have some people worship her like a god?
Today we visited the Matrimandir. Bear with me for a short description, as the place was literally- in-credible. First of all, it is a huge golden sphere bursting out of the earth, surrounded by 12 large "petals". It was built like this because the mother wanted to symbolize the ultimate divine awareness bursting forth out of the earth like a lotus flower. Each "petal" is a room, and each symbolizes a different state of being/awareness. They are supposed to build up to ultimate divine consciousness.
The Matrimandir is extremely regulated, as the mother had wished for it to be only for those who seek to concentrate. According to her, this center of her city should have no religions, no chanting, no regular meditation, or anything. It is just for concentration.
So after watching 3 movies, examining a room explaining it, and hearing a 30 minute speech on it, we were finally allowed to enter. We had to be in complete silence.
Walking down into the huge golden orb, I felt like I was about to levitate into a spaceship. First we reached a dark chamber alit with a red glow. Here we had to put on clean white socks. Then we proceeded in a silent line up the spiral staircase toward the sacred inner chamber. Walking up the ramp and looking around, I felt utterly weird; I was in a place unlike any other I'd ever been. If the mother was going for futuristic and otherworldly, she had certainly accomplished her goal.
Entering the inner chamber, there were huge white marble pillars reaching about 100 feet up to the sloped ceiling. Everything was white- the walls, the carpet floor, the sitting pillows. There were no windows. All that existed in the chamber was a large crystal ball, sitting exactly in the center of the dark-white room. It was being hit by a single ray of light coming from a tiny hole at the top of the ceiling. The energy was thick.
As amazing as the Matrimandir was, I felt still adrift in my own feelings, distant from the Mother's vision, and having critical thoughts and resistance in my mind. First of all, if there is to be no religion in the Matrimandir and Auroville "should belong to no one in particular", then why do so many people seem to worship pictures of the Mother like a religious figure? Is this simply a case of misinterpretation on the people's part? (I certainly know that there is a lot of mis-interpretation in other religions.)
Also, in myself, I feel that my inner being and True Self is aligned with and in Nature. How am I to find this center when I am enshrouded in a huge expensive weird spaceship ball?
Perhaps I wil come to understand more in time. However, for the moment, since my thoughts have been with the poverty in the villages and trying to process that, I have had a hard time coming to terms with these two radically different existences in my mind. On one side, you have people who come into touch with the Divine out of need and ancient tradition; on the other, you have people seeking the Divine out of progressive spiritual aspiration.
I know that this is all connected and that we are all part of the same Source. Experiencing the different ways of being in touch with this can be such a trip!
On an ending note, when I experience my inner Divine Mother, she is a forest sprite dancing her spirit, emotions, and humanity out in the forest and desert and mountains with her fairy companions. I suppose that the presence here of The Mother can be a lesson to find my unique and beautiful Divine Femininity within.